Grief
by Skyshadow54
Summary: After the battle of Mission City, the Autobots mourn the loss of their fallen comrade. But what about Jazz's friends that do not know what happened? Some of them arrive on Earth not long after. How will Steeldust and Prowl react when they're told?


**Hey everyone. Just a little plot bunny that's been bugging me.. :P  
This story is not in my usual universe that I usually write. It's set in the movie-verse, in between the first two movies. So it doesn't really tie in with anything else I have. Hopefully the characters won't be too OOC, I'm not entirely sure.. This might be just a one-shot, but who knows, maybe it'll become longer.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers. Just Steeldust and this story is mine.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"I'm picking up four Cybertronian signals, Optimus."

The Prime glanced down at his CMO. "Are they coming this way?"

Ratchet looked at his scanner once again. "Yes."

Nearby, Sideswipe rolled back and forth on his wheeled pedes impatiently. "Sunstreaker is with them. I can feel him."

"Then, it would seem that they are likely all Autobots," Optimus hummed.

"Bout time some of the others showed up," grumbled Ironhide, crossing his large servos. "We could use some backup."

"I thought you did not need backup, Ironhide," said Mirage. He glanced over at the weapons specialist, raising an optic ridge skeptically.

"It's helpful at times."

Mirage smirked while Ratchet scoffed.

Sideswipe continued to pace, looking towards the direction the signals were approaching.

He suddenly stopped. "That's it."

Despite the protests of the others to wait, the red mechling transformed and roared off.

"We'd better follow him," Ironhide grunted, already transforming. "Just in case."

"Agreed," answered Optimus. "Autobots, roll out."

The three remaining mechs transformed and began following the GMC Topkick. Sideswipe had already disappeared.

Once on the highway, the rest caught up with the red car.

Mirage was the first to catch up, pulling alongside the front liner.

"Are you certain it is your twin?"

Sideswipe scoffed, revving his engine in annoyance. "Are you kidding? Of course, I know it's him!"

The blue and white Ferrari said nothing more, but kept close.

Shortly, Sideswipe led them off of the highway onto a smaller, less busy road. They traveled for a few minutes on it before Ironhide inquired, "Sideswipe, do you know where you're going?"

"No," the front liner called back. "But I know that Sunstreaker is somewhere up ahead. And he's close!"

"The signals I'm picking up concur," added Ratchet. "We should see them soon."

And they did.

As the small convoy approached a bend in the road, partially hidden by trees, the noise of several engines could be heard.

Then, a yellow Lamborghini Huracan sped around the corner, speeding up significantly once in sight. Closely following it, was a navy and black Apollo Arrow.

"Sunstreaker!" yelled Sideswipe ecstatically, halting suddenly on the shoulder of the road. He transformed, running towards his twin.

The yellow Lamborghini also transformed and was promptly tackled to the ground.

"Sides!"

"Sunny!"

Optimus, Ratchet, Ironhide, and Mirage had also stopped and transformed, watching from a short distance away.

As the twins picked themselves off the ground, talking a mile a minute, two more cars came into view.

One, a white and black Nissan 370z police car. The other, a grey and black '69 Chevelle.

When they reached the Arrow, which was idling not far from the bend, they stopped beside it, before transforming.

Optimus smiled, instantly recognizing two of the three Autobots. "Prowl, Bluestreak, it is good to see you both. Welcome to Earth."

The tactician nodded his helm, leading the other two that were still with him to the other group. "Optimus. Ratchet. Ironhide. Mirage."

The navy and black Autobot stepped forwards. "Optimus Prime, it is an honour to finally meet you," he said with a grin. Then, his attention turned towards the spy. "Mirage! How's it going?"

Mirage held out a hand as the lanky mechling stepped quickly forwards. "Steeldust, it has been some time. I am well, and yourself?"

Ignoring the outstretched hand, Steeldust hugged the spy. "Great. Glad you're here, mech!"

"Bluestreak," smiled Ratchet. "Good to see you too."

"Hey, Ratchet," grinned Bluestreak.

Prowl glanced around, taking in the surroundings and the Autobots reuniting with each other.

"Optimus, I believe it would be in our best interest to continue this at your headquarters?"

The Prime nodded. "Yes, you are right, Prowl. We are attempting to keep ourselves hidden from the humans, excluding our allies. In addition, I'm sure the others would like to meet the rest of our team here."

Once the officers managed to get everyone paying enough attention to listen, they all began heading back to base.

Bluestreak chattered on and on to Ratchet the whole way. And, to anyone who would listen. Steeldust and Mirage were catching up after the spy introduced the speedster to everyone he had not met yet. The twins were mostly quiet, likely talking to each other over their bond.

The other three were mostly silent as well, either lost in thought or listening to the rest.

When they arrived back home, the convoy was greeted by the humans and the remaining Autobots that hadn't accompanied.

Introductions were made and some old friends reunited.

After this, Prowl and Steeldust glanced around once more, then exchanged a concerned look.

Steeldust commed Prowl internally, his optics dimming for a second.

"_Where's Jazz? I thought he was with Optimus Prime."_

"_So did I,"_ replied Prowl promptly.

Closing the comm, Steeldust cast an inquisitive look towards Mirage.

Who seemed to be avoiding his friend's gaze.

Steeldust furrowed his optic ridges. Something was up. And he was gonna figure out what it was.

And why Jazz hadn't been there in the forest to meet them. Or, here to meet them. And why he hadn't even been _mentioned_.

Deciding to get straight to the point, the spec ops transformed his servos into his swords. The sound of the weapons being unsheathed got everyone's attention. The desired effect.

Straightening as suddenly all optics and eyes were on him, Steeldust put away his weapons.

"Where's Jazz?"

Silence.

Prowl stiffened beside Steeldust, his doorwings rising ever so slightly.

"_It cannot be..."_ the tactician thought, internally horrified.

When no one answered, the impatient speedster frowned. "Well," he demanded, flicking his doorwings. "Is he here?"

Blue-green optics drifted across the other occupants of the base, noting the sadness or reluctance to meet his questioning look.

"I'm afraid, that Jazz is no longer with us," Ratchet finally said sadly.

Steeldust blinked twice and twitched, letting what the medic said sink in.

Beside him, Prowl's doorwings drooped, the only emotion he let show through his mask. Across the room, Bluestreak, who had been talking to Bumblebee, wilted, his doorwings sagging.

Steeldust shook his helm and let out a short, harsh laugh. "Sorry. What did you just say?"

"He perished trying to protect Sam and the Allspark from Megatron," Ratchet replied. He glanced away. "By the time we got to him, it was too late to save him."

"I'm sorry, Prowl," Optimus said, noting his SIC's sorrow. "I know you and Jazz were close."

Prowl nodded his helm. "Thank you, Optimus."

Holding in what he really felt, Prowl knew he likely seemed distant and emotionless. But he could not mourn right now. Not yet. Not here.

Beside him, a mounting storm of emotions was growing however.

Expression darkening, Steeldust laughed again, the sound harsh and cold. "You're lying. He can't be dead," he said angrily.

"Steeldust," Mirage said quietly. "I wish they were. But they're not."

Turning his attention to his friend, Steeldust's faceplate grew sober, optics pleading.

"Jazz was killed by Megatron, who then was killed also," Mirage continued soberly. "I'm sorry, Steeldust. They're telling the truth. Jazz is gone."

Mind reeling, the other special ops took several steps back.

His guardian, mentor, and friend was dead. Another look at everyone's faces confirmed what Mirage had said.

Jazz was gone.

He wasn't coming back.

Steeldust would never see him again.

_Ever._

"_I didn't really even get to say goodbye,"_ Steel thought, remembering the orn that they had parted ways on different missions_. "And I'll- I'll never get to tell him goodbye. Or anything else ever again."_

He turned and strode towards the base's entrance, ignoring the calls of Bluestreak, Prowl, and Ironhide to come back. Vision blurring, he dodged around the humans and their vehicles parked outside. Launching himself forward, he transformed, engine revving angrily. Speeding off as soon as he touched the ground, he was off like a rocket.

The rest of the Autobots and their human allies were left to watch the rapidly retreating figure in varying forms of shock or concern.

"I've never seen any of you guys take Jazz's death quite that hard," Lennox said quietly, looking towards Prime.

Optimus' gaze flicked to Prowl before turning his attention to the human standing on the nearby catwalk. "I perceive that perhaps Steeldust knew Jazz quite well back on Cybertron."

"He did," sniffed Bluestreak. "I knew him too, but not like Steeldust or Prowl did.

"Prowl here was his best friend. Steeldust- Jazz was his guardian."

* * *

Steeldust had no idea where he was going.

He'd only landed on this planet the night before. So, he knew where nothing was.

He didn't even know where he was.

"_He can't be gone! He just can't be!"_

But deep down, Steeldust couldn't deny it.

He'd missed Jazz, and had been looking forward to seeing him again for so long.

And now he never would.

Steeldust was temporarily distracted from his dark thoughts by a message.

"_Mirage."_

Guiltily, Steeldust slowed down a bit. Mirage and Prowl had both been good friends with the saboteur too. And Blue and the twins were close to him as well. He didn't know about anyone else here on Earth.

"_And I just blew up at them and left."_

Opening the message, Steeldust aimlessly drove down the highway. It was late at night; few humans were occupying the paved road.

"_Steeldust. These are the coordinates of where they buried Jazz. I thought you may want them."_

If Steeldust had been in his root mode, he would've have smirked. _"Good ol' 'Raj. That spy is too clever for his own good."_

Turning off at the next road, Steeldust changed direction, speeding off towards the coordinates given.

* * *

Later, Steeldust transformed and stood at the edge of a cliff. Below, was a large body of water, reaching out to the horizon as far as he could see. The dark water lapped at the shore below, making a calming noise that would've been pleasant under other circumstances. The full moon hovered above, casting its glowing reflection out on the ocean's surface.

The water may have been peaceful, but the emotions inside the young Cybertronian were not. They were a turmoil, a mix of anger, sorrow, and grief.

He had followed the coordinates as far as he could. Apparently, Jazz was buried in the ocean. Somewhere out there. This was as close as he could get.

"I can't even reach you like this," Steeldust lamented softly. He threw up his servos in defeat. "I can't even give you a proper goodbye.

"I couldn't stand here on this planet with you and fight alongside you, Jazz. And now I can't even stand at your grave and say this.

"I- Failed you. Jazz, if I had been there, I could've helped you," Steeldust continued, voice breaking. "Somehow, someway. I- "

Scrunching his optics closed, he took a deep vent. "Why didn't you wait for backup or something? You went up against Megatron of all mecha? Seriously, Jazz!"

Steeldust glared out at the horizon. Anger began to be the dominant emotion.

"The Autobots need you!" he yelled. "The special operations division needs you! Prowl and Mirage need their best friend!

"I need you!"

Doorwings hiked upwards into a sharp V, armour plating raised in aggression, Steeldust screamed as loud as he could.

"We needed you, Jazz! And you just left us! How could you do that, Jazz? How could you just leave us all?

"I thought that you cared! You said that you would always be there! That you'd always be there for me! But now you're not! You're gone! Do you know what that feels like? To know that you're not coming back? That I'll never see you again?"

Faltering, Steeldust's optics widened, tears starting to fall from them. His armour and doorwings began to flatten.

"I never got to say goodbye to you. Never got to say all the things I wanted to say to you."

Falling to his knees, the young mech shook his helm.

"What am I supposed to do now?"

"Grieve and keep on going."

Turning at the familiar voice, Steeldust was quiet.

Prowl walked closer and sat beside the younger mecha.

"How are we supposed to move on from this, Prowl?" asked Steeldust, voice hoarse from screaming. He didn't care how long the tactician had been watching or listening, so he didn't bother asking. "What will we do without him?"

Prowl said nothing for several kliks, watching the horizon.

"We will miss him. But Jazz would not want us to grieve, Steeldust. He lived his life to the fullest," the tactician finally said. "He would wish for us to keep fighting, and not to give up."

"That doesn't make it hurt less," snapped Steeldust, drawing his legs close to his frame and placing folded servos on top of them.

"I know."

"I'm sorry, Prowl. I shouldn't've snapped at you or any of the others before."

"They will forgive you as I have. They understand."

"Not as much as you."

Steeldust then let out a small snort. "You sounded like him there for a minute."

"Because we both know he would say something like that."

The two sat in silence for some time, mourning the loss of their friend together. After a few hours, Prowl stood.

"It is time to go back, Steeldust," he said quietly.

Numbly, Steeldust nodded and got to his pedes.

The pair made their way to the nearest road, transformed, and drove towards the base. Towards their new home.

It might still hurt that Jazz was gone, but at least they weren't alone in their loss.

Prowl and Steeldust still had each other.

And the rest of the Autobots and their human allies.

Eventually, maybe, they would recover from this hard blow the Decepticons had dealt them.

* * *

_About a year later. _

Prowl shook his helm, looking firmly down at the table. Avoiding Optimus' glance from across it.

"Steeldust has never been quite the same after. He has healed and tried to move on. But where the young mechling once was always cheerful and ready to laugh or crack a joke, he is colder now. He still smiles, but it's not as bright as it used to be. His manner is a little harsher too, more like Sunstreaker some days. Less like Jazz.

"He has become one of the best special ops we have, despite being so young. A loyal soldier, never backing down from a fight, never leaving anyone behind, always has our backs. He has not simply given up, just kept going.

"Optimus, I confess, I am still concerned about him. When Megatron showed up again, we almost lost him. He tried to get revenge for his guardian and almost died himself in the process. Megatron is lucky that Steeldust isn't you or Ironhide's size and strength. Because if he was, the Decepticons wouldn't have a leader again very shortly."

"But since that day, Steeldust has refrained from attacking Megatron in the way he did," Optimus said quietly. "I think Steeldust must have decided that in between Sam and him, Jazz has been avenged. Or, he figures that the Decepticon leader is not worth it. And he would be correct. Maybe, we'll see the old Steeldust again one day. I do not know him from before you two landed here on Earth, but from what you have told me, he does seem different."

The tactician looked up at his friend. "Perhaps. However, I think that if we do see the old Steeldust, that day is a long way away."

Humming in agreement, the Prime nodded. "War takes a toll on us all. We gain some ground, we lose some. We also lose friends and comrades. Sometimes, some take those losses harder than others."

"And sometimes, they never fully recover," Prowl whispered, feeling the old hurt rising up again.

"This is not just about Steeldust, is it?"

"No, Optimus. I confess, I feel the same way as him. I am not ready to move on yet either. Not completely."

Optimus placed his folded hands on the table, leaning forwards. "I think, that you both have been dealing with your grief in similar ways. I have observed you talking to each other, and Mirage, about it. That is good."

Prowl rose an optic ridge. "But?"

"Both of you have immersed yourselves into your fields. I appreciate the effort and how you both contribute, but tell me. Is burying your grief in work the best way to get past it?"

The tactician sat back, considering what the Prime had said.

"Perhaps not," he finally said.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! What did you think? Should I continue this or the storyline?**


End file.
